Famous Funny Quotes . . .

-- To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance - Oscar Wilde

-- I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison

-- Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. Brendan Gill

-- The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson

-- Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together. - Georg Lichtenberg

-- If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

-- As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent. Socrates

-- Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

-- Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. Mae West

-- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Oscar Wilde

-- An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. Gandhi

-- He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. Lao Tsu

-- Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting. Billy Rose

-- A rich man's joke is always funny. Proverb

-- Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river. Cordel Hull

-- When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes. Dylan Thomas

-- I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
Winston Churchill

-- Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance. William Shakespeare

-- A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. Oscar Wilde

-- There are three faithful friends—an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin