"You don't realize how many people you hate until you have to name a baby..."
Showing posts with label Sarcasm Quotes Never Heard Before. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarcasm Quotes Never Heard Before. Show all posts
Thursday, January 30, 2014
How many people you hate ?
"You don't realize how many people you hate until you have to name a baby..."
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Death Breath
We Should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like, "I'm bored, lets go brush your teeth!"
Friday, January 10, 2014
Some Sarcastic Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice.
I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.
Some people aren't just missing a screw...
they're missing the whole toolbox!
I used to to hit the gym when I was stressed.
Now I just hit the person that caused the stress. It works much better.
Askhole - A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.
I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.
Some people aren't just missing a screw...
they're missing the whole toolbox!
I used to to hit the gym when I was stressed.
Now I just hit the person that caused the stress. It works much better.
Askhole - A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Some More Sarcasm...
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”
“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
“I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.”
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
“Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”
“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”
“A good listener is usually thinking about something else.”
“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”
“I wish we were better strangers.”
"Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it."
“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
“I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.”
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
“Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”
“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”
“A good listener is usually thinking about something else.”
“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”
“I wish we were better strangers.”
"Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it."
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sarcasm Quotes Never Heard Before
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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