At every party there are two kinds of people.
Those who want to go home and those who don't.
The trouble is they are usually married to each other.
Showing posts with label marriage jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage jokes. Show all posts
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Couple Humour
At every party there are two kinds of people.
Those who want to go home and those who don't.
The trouble is they are usually married to each other.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
4 Secrets to a Happy Marriage
1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
4. It is important that these three women never meet.
Friday, March 6, 2009
The sharing of marriage
The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered
'THE TEETH.'
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered
'THE TEETH.'
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Godly Humour
Maria was a beautiful Latina who fell in love with Jose. She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans; she decided to tell her papa.
Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another. Your Mother does not know this, but Jose is our half-brother". So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry Ricardo.
But after telling papa again, he said, "Maria there's trouble still"." You can not marry Ricardo, Maria. Please don't tell your mother, but Ricardo and Jose are both your half-brothers".
Maria had no choice but to go to her mama, but she already knew and Said "Maria, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry Jose, because you are not related to Papa."
Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another. Your Mother does not know this, but Jose is our half-brother". So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry Ricardo.
But after telling papa again, he said, "Maria there's trouble still"." You can not marry Ricardo, Maria. Please don't tell your mother, but Ricardo and Jose are both your half-brothers".
Maria had no choice but to go to her mama, but she already knew and Said "Maria, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry Jose, because you are not related to Papa."
Friday, January 9, 2009
Before and After Marriage
Before marriage.....
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage.... Simply read from bottom to top.
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