Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Chemistry of Men & Women ...

Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and
may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter
if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong
affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent
when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns
slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion
of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

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Element Name: MAN
Symbol: BY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out
of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find
a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct
electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties:
Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can
get. Also tends to form strong bonds with it. Becomes explosive
when mixed with Kid.
(Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.