How do you know when you are half way through a date with a pilot?
Because he says: "Thats enough about flying, let's talk about me!"
A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he is flying, and about flying when he is with a woman.
"There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."
An airplane was flying from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, "We have lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it will take 7 hours to get to New York."
A little later, the pilot announced, "A second engine failed, but we still have two left. However, it will take 10 hours to get to New York."
Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced, "A third engine had died. Never fear, because the plane can fly on a single engine. However, it will now take 18 hours to get to new York."
At this point, one passenger said, "Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!"
What's the purpose of the propeller? To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!
A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?"
The clerk said, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the man said and hung up.