• What is the difference between Men and Puppies?
Puppies grow up.
• Why do men always have a stupid look on their face?
Because they are …
• What do Men have in common to ceramic tiles?
Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
• If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
Who cares …
• What did god say after he created man?
I can do better than this! and then he created woman.
• What is the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
I don’t know, I have never seen either.
• What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink…
• What do you do with a man who thinks he’s god’s gift?
Exchange Him…
• Why do men like smart women?
Opposite Attract…
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Gender issues... no offence to either sex!
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see
right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up
again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are
pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light
a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but
it's handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But
consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up
again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are
pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light
a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but
it's handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But
consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Presence of mind
In a shop a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson, a young boy,said that only 1kg packs were available in the shop, but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg. So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said "An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter". To his surprise, the customer was standing behind him. So the boy added immediately, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!!!!!".
After the customer left, the manager said "You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?". To this the boy said, "I come from Mexico. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!!!!!".
The manager replied coldly, "My wife is also from Mexico".
To this the boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?"
Believe in your presence of mind and never panic!!!!!!!!
After the customer left, the manager said "You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?". To this the boy said, "I come from Mexico. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!!!!!".
The manager replied coldly, "My wife is also from Mexico".
To this the boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?"
Believe in your presence of mind and never panic!!!!!!!!
Friday, April 25, 2008
School Gags...
"Dad, can you write in the dark?"
"I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
"Your name on this report card."
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Sam: "I don’t know."
Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?
Milton: I can't. Besides, I never said it was.
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.
"Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
"No."
"I'm the principal's daughter."
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank goodness!"
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
"I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
"Your name on this report card."
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Sam: "I don’t know."
Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?
Milton: I can't. Besides, I never said it was.
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.
"Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
"No."
"I'm the principal's daughter."
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank goodness!"
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
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