GENERAL MOTORS reply to BILL GATES-Dont challenge mechanical

DON'T CHALLENGE MECHANICAL FOR IT.

General Motors REPLY TO BILL GATES
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release Stating:
"If GM had developed technology like microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part, esp 7th point and 10'th point):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would ! run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. (Read CTR-ALT-DEL)

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. "

Never undervalue the manufacturing & automobile industries

A small touching story mainly for professionals...

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."

SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?
Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with
you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

Difference between Potentially and In Reality

Youngest Son: Daddy, what is the difference between "potentially" and " in
reality"?

Dad: "I will demonstrate"

Dad turns to Wife and asks her: Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1
million dollars?

Wife: Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity!

Then Dad asks his daughter if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million
dollars?

Daughter: Waow! Yes! This is my fantasy!

Dad next turns to his elder son and asks him: Would you sleep with Tom
Cruise for 1 million dollars?

Elder Son: Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million dollars! I
would never hesitate!

So Dad then turns back to his younger son saying:

You see son, "potentially" we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but "in
reality" we are living with 2 Bitches and a Gay!

Prison vs Cubicle...

IN PRISON
you spend the majority of your time in an 8'X10' cell

AT WORK
you spend the majority of your time in an 8'X10' cell . you spend most of your time in a 6'X8' cubicle ..
*****************************************************************
IN PRISON AT WORK
you get three meals a day (free).

AT WORK
you get three meals a day (free). you only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself .

*****************************************************************
IN PRISON
you get time off for good behavior

AT WORK
you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.

****************************************************************
IN PRISON
a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you ..

AT WORK
you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself .

***************************************************************
IN PRISON
you can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK
you can watch TV and play games. you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

***************************************************************

IN PRISON AT WORK
you get your own toilet .

AT WORK
you get your own toilet . you have to share .

***************************************************************
IN PRISON
they allow your family and friends to visit.

AT WORK
you can not even speak to your family and friends.
***************************************************************
IN PRISON
all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.

AT WORK
You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

Humm?

Which Sounds Better?

So what are you waiting for.........

Kill your Manager !!!