Notices in English for tourists in Gujarat:
In an Ahmedabad Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
In a Surat hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Baroda hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Jamnagar: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In an Ahmedabad hotel near Gujarat College: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Edwards Laundry on Relief Road, Ahmedabad: Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Bhavnagar hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is rekvested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an Anand laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a heritage hotel at Junagadh: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Rann of Kutch: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a 5-Star Hotel cocktail lounge in Ahmedabad: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In the office of an Ahmedabad gynecologist: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In a Bharuch hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.