First cannibal: My wife's a tough old bird.
Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an
hour.
A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember
her by.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every so often, she has to stop
to breathe.
I'm suffering from bad breath
you should do something about it!
I did.
I just sent my wife to the dentist.
Woman: If you were my husband I'd poison your coffee.
Man: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
After the wedding:
- You know, honey, I can't give up my maiden habits at once.
- It is not necessary! You may continue to take your father's money.
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