Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them...Oh my God, what have I just said?'
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sarcasm Quotes Never Heard Before
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Software development LifeCycle
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Funny SQL Query
WeddingQuery. ....... ........ (SQL Style)
HUSBANDS QUERY
CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage (
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) )
AS
BEGIN
SELECT
Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire'
AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null
AND Sisters =Null
SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce
FROM FatherInLaw
UPDATE MyBankAccout
SETMyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATE
MyLocker
SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTO
MyCarShed VALUES('BMW')
END
GO
Then the wife writes the below query:
DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;
HUSBANDS QUERY
CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage (
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) )
AS
BEGIN
SELECT
Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire'
AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null
AND Sisters =Null
SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce
FROM FatherInLaw
UPDATE MyBankAccout
SETMyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATE
MyLocker
SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTO
MyCarShed VALUES('BMW')
END
GO
Then the wife writes the below query:
DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;
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