A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine
Friday, November 19, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Love Story for Golfers
An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's' hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
Martha replied, "Well, Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason."
Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's' confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"
Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"
Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"
Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."
"I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so, of course, I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."
"All right," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"
Martha replied, "Well, Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason."
Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's' confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"
Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"
Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"
Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."
"I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so, of course, I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."
"All right," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Help Us to understand our wives
A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”
The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”
The biker thought about it for a long time Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how can I make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?.”
The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”
The biker thought about it for a long time Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how can I make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?.”
Friday, August 13, 2010
Did you Know
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
The body's strongest muscle is our tongue.
Statistically people are more afraid of spiders than they are of dying.
All polar bears are left handed.
Crocodiles cannot stick out their tongue.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A ducks quack has no echo, and nobody knows why.
It is impossible to sneeze with your eye's open.
Starfish has no brains.
Mosquito have no teeth.
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
The word "cemetery" comes from the Greek "Koimetirion" which means dormitory.
When the English settlers landed in Australia , they noticed a strange animal that jumped extremely high and far.They asked the aboriginal people using body language and signs trying to ask them about the animal. They responded with " KAN GHU RU" the English then adopted the word "Kangaroo". What the aboriginal people were really trying to say was "we don't understand you", "KAN GHU RU".
During historic civil wars, when troops returned without casualties, a writing was put up so all can see which read " 0 Killed ".From here we get the expression "O.K". which means all is good.
The body's strongest muscle is our tongue.
Statistically people are more afraid of spiders than they are of dying.
All polar bears are left handed.
Crocodiles cannot stick out their tongue.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A ducks quack has no echo, and nobody knows why.
It is impossible to sneeze with your eye's open.
Starfish has no brains.
Mosquito have no teeth.
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
The word "cemetery" comes from the Greek "Koimetirion" which means dormitory.
When the English settlers landed in Australia , they noticed a strange animal that jumped extremely high and far.They asked the aboriginal people using body language and signs trying to ask them about the animal. They responded with " KAN GHU RU" the English then adopted the word "Kangaroo". What the aboriginal people were really trying to say was "we don't understand you", "KAN GHU RU".
During historic civil wars, when troops returned without casualties, a writing was put up so all can see which read " 0 Killed ".From here we get the expression "O.K". which means all is good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)